A Breath of Fresh Air

Recently, I asked the Lord to breathe some new life into my life.  This picture is a great illustration of Him doing just that.  I felt like I was growing stagnant.  I felt like I was just sitting in fear with no way out.  I felt like I needed a push and I was at my wit's end.  Fo real!

So, I asked the Lord to give me a breath of fresh air, to give me something along this journey to wake up the things that were inside of me, to give me the push that I needed in the right direction.  And, as always, He was right there, ready to breathe life into me.  But, I had to exhale the old air out.  You ever try to take a breath in when you're all full of hot air (pun intended)?  Yeah, it doesn't work.  Again, I'm learning that you have to let go of the old to bring in the new.

God's word says that "If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.  Old things are passed away.  Behold all things are become new." So, how am I going to bring in the new if my lungs are filled with old, stagnant air?  I couldn't.  It just won't work.

So I had to let go.  I had to let go of what people might think.  I had to let go of thinking I'm too old or too new or too smart or maybe not smart enough.  I had to let go of fear of the unknown and simply trust that when I exhaled, the Lord would be there giving me more air to breathe. 

AND HE DEFINITELY SHOWED UP!

Just a few weeks ago, I took a big leap into something I'm so passionate about, it gives me butterflies.  I've now officially entered the fashion industry and I'm so stoked, it's ridiculous.  There is only one other thing (occupationally) that I love and it's music.  But, I'm excited to see how they both come together.

Today, I'm thankful for a job that allows me to be creative, to wake up parts of myself that I never even knew existed.  I'm thankful for a step in the direction that leads me toward God's calling on my life.  And I'm thankful that God is who He is all the time, without fail.  I'm so grateful that I get to maybe give women a glimpse into how beautiful they are.  Maybe I can help them see just a tiny bit of what God sees when He sits and watches us so lovingly.  I'm thankful that God has put this calling on my life.  And I'm blessed with the opportunity to answer that call serving Him.

Ephesians 4:1-6
     ...walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.  There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling , One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

Witness A Blessing

A funny thing happened at the restaurant last night...

Amidst all of the chaos of a crazy Saturday night at the old Bonefish Grill, I was blessed with the opportunity to see someone be blessed.  While I was serving last night, I walked up to yet another table full of guests eagerly awaiting their portion of Bang Bang Shrimp.  I thought it would be just another normal table, but my 'hello, how are you all doin' tonight' was greeted with an equally enthusiastic 'hello' and the brightest blue eyes you've ever seen.  This little girl who was probably about 10 or 12 years old had a light in her eyes that is hard to find in this world.  Her smile was beaming with excitement.  Grinning from ear to ear, she couldn't wait to ask for the Bang Bang shrimp.  And what made her even more special was that she had this joy even though the sparse amount of blonde hair on her head told me that her light was shining thru a struggle with cancer.

As dinner went on, this little girl proved she was genuine, authentic, funny, and truly joyful, and I got the chance to be her server.  HOW COOL IS THAT?  For one brief hour, I got to be a part of an experience that I found out later was a celebration because her numbers were up and she was able to actually go out in public.  She chose Bonefish for her celebratory dinner and she had macaroni and cheese.  I LOVE IT!

So, just to top it all off, another server came over and told me that his table was taking care of the check for my favorite guests EVER (yep, they definitely get that title, hands down).  The coolest part?  The people paying for the check didn't want them to know who did it.  Wow.  So, I went over to my favorite little family, took a deep breath, and told them that their check was paid for.  They were so happy and I turned away from the little girl so that she wouldn't see me cry (I'm a girl, okay...geez). 

Anyway, the little girl and her family left, so I went to tell the guests who paid 'thank you.'  They humbly replied that they knew that family probably couldn't afford dinner, so it was the least they could do.  Well, that made a sistah have to cry a little bit more (exit, blubbering mess).  But, it's something that I won't ever forget.

So, today, I'm just thankful that I got to witness something amazing come out of something that is so very tragic.  Light shines in the darkness.  And this little girl's light truly shines so bright. 

Romans 8:28--And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.

What Does Your Handprint Look Like?

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=659

Question of the Day:  If today were your last day on earth, what unique contribution or legacy would you leave behind?  What does your imprint look like?

You know, just like our unique fingerprints and our unique signatures, each of us has something that only we can contribute to this world.  I may not be the best singer, pianist, guitar player or designer in the world, but I am definitely the best at being Ebony Louise Price.  And I am the only one that was specifically put on this earth to play that role.

I've found myself comparing my gifts to others more times than I can count.  I mean, Jennifer Hudson can sang!  So can Aretha and so can Yolanda Adams.  I can't sing like them.  Why?  'Cause I'm not supposed to.  I'm supposed to sing like me.  So, why waste my time trying to be like them?  I'm just going to get frustrated and disappointed.  I could even go as far as impersonating one of them.  But, really, I don't want to be known as "that girl that impersonates Aretha," even if I could sing like her.

Other examples:  Diane Von Furstenburg, Roberto Cavalli, Karl Lagerfeld, Galliano.  I love their designs.  But, what they do has already been done by them.  I'm not trying to be like them.  I'm trying to be the best me that I can be.  I'm trying to live in the Lord's will and that's it.

So, just like our fingerprints, we have something unique to contribute to this world.  We weren't made by mistake (even if our parents didn't plan us).  God has always had a plan in mind for us.  

In Jeremiah 1:5, the Lord tells Jeremiah, "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations."

WHAT?!  THE LORD HAS HAD A PLAN FOR US ALL ALONG!  HOW COOL IS THAT?!

So, we work on our skills.  Millions of women can sew, and make jewelry and play music.  But, what happens when I take those skills and filter them thru His Spirit and the earthen vessel God gave me?  God only knows.  But a sistah is fo real gonna find out.

So, let's work on our unique voices, our individual hanprints that God has blessed us with.  What's yours?

This picture reminds me of the fear we talked about last time. Sometimes the things that we would love to accomplish seem so overwhelming, like a hurdle that you can't get over. Kind of like when you stare up at a skyscraper and you start to feel dizzy when your body realizes just how tall that dang building really is. It's like we all have these BIG DREAMS that we would love to see come true. But, the more we think about them and what it would take to get there, we get dizzy and decide it's just too overwhelming. That is the point where I find myself stuck, stagnant, disappointed, and, frankly, depressed.

Sometimes it feels like a tug-of-war, to have your heart and your mind able to see where you want to go, but to be overwhelmed by what it will take to get there. Should I stay here, wondering what could have been, wishing I would have at least tried, looking for something to replace that nagging feeling that something is wrong? Or should I start taking steps in the direction my heart wants to go, where God wants me to be, where I may not be accepted of everyone, but favored by Him? Dizzying, isn't it?

So, what's worse, facing the unknown and climbing to the top of that beautiful building OR that horrible sinking feeling down here on the ground that tells me this is not where I'm supposed to be? Maybe I'll ask the other people down here on the sidewalk with me. They'll convince me to take the low road with them. Or, maybe, just maybe, it's time to see what that giant skyscraper has for me.

SCARY. I KNOW! But, no building was built without a way to get to the top. Yes, you may have to take a ton of stairs, but there's a way to get there. Sure, it won't be easy, but won't it be worth it to get there? And, honestly, we only have two options: You either face your fears or you don't.

THERE IS NO TRY!

You are either standing on the sidewalk or walking into the building. You are either pursuing your dreams or you're not. You're either facing your fears or you're not.

Here's what's up. I can't stand to be down here on the sidewalk any more. My curiosity won't let me wonder what could have been for the rest of my life. I refuse to turn my back on God who is calling me from the top floor of Ebony, Inc. I choose to walk by faith and not by sight, 'cause honestly, I've seen all the stuff down here on the sidewalk and I'm kinda bored with it. I'm tired of making excuses. Now I know that fear has gotten in the way. So enough with over-analyzing it. One person called this THE PARALYSIS OF ANALYSIS. I know that it's fear that's the problem. Okay. Cool. Now get on with it. Don't get stuck in analyzing the situation. MOVE ON!

Okay, so I've entered the building. I've found the stairs. And I've ripped off the black and yellow Caution Tape. Lord, I'm going to need your strength here. I know I'll mess up sometimes. I know I might trip and fall. But, I know you made this beautiful building just for me. So, it's time to really take my first STEP OUT ON FAITH.

TV Announcer's voice: "On our next episode of STEP OUT ON FAITH, Ebony begins the climb up the stairs, probably freaks out, but is going to keep going anyway. What surprises will show up around every corner? Stay tuned to find out!"

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PEOPLE-PLEASERS ANONYMOUS (PPA)

Hello, my name is Ebony Price and I am a people-pleaser. (Hi, Ebony).

Okay, so after my last post on fear, I wanted to really get down to the bottom of what I've been so afraid of. Some people have a fear of success. I never felt that I was one of those people. I've always been so afraid of failing that I never really got the chance to worry about what might happen if I was successful.

So, I always figured I was afraid of failing. I mean, failing sucks, right? The big disappointment, figuring out where to go next, dwelling on why the failure happened in the first place. But, honestly, it was never the thought of failing that gave me that CRAZY FEAR. You know that fear that makes you feel like you have a giant weight sitting on your chest? Or that fear that makes your heart beat so fast that you feel like you can't breathe? I'm talking FEAR. The kind that keeps you up at night and greets you as soon as your eyes open in the morning. Gripping fear.

You know what I'm REALLY afraid of? It's not failing. Shoot, I can mess up the bridge to a song a million times when I'm alone on my keyboard in my living room. I'm not afraid of making a skirt and accidentally sewing the pockets shut. I'm not even afraid to play a new song on my guitar just a few minutes after finding the chords online. So, I'm not afraid of failing. Failing isn't the problem. It's people seeing me fail that makes my heart beat out of my chest.

It's like a giant light-bulb turned on this morning. I'm afraid of people not liking what I'm wearing. I'm afraid of people laughing at me and whispering under their breath about the bad note I hit on the bridge that ruined that song. I'm afraid of forgetting the next chord in the song and the dead silence that would follow. That's what makes my heart race. I'm afraid of other people.

When I think about it, it just seems silly. I mean, aren't we supposed to be individuals? And allowing people's opinions to run my life gives them waaaaay too much power over my life. Truly, what do they know about my life, where I've come from, and what God's purpose is in my life? Seriously. THEY DON'T KNOW ME! (yes, I say that in the sassiest black woman way I know how, with one finger in the air, a hand on my hip, and my neck was definitely rollin'). I realized today that I have allowed people's opinions to drive my decisions with my dreams and my career. Worst of all, these "people" have no idea how my life works into God's purpose. They have no idea why God put me on this earth. So, why am I letting their opinions guide my decisions? Oh uh uh, FEAR! Ya got to go! Now that I figured out what the problem is? Ya got to go! 'Cause last time I checked...

"THE LORD IS MY LIGHT AND MY SALVATION; WHOM SHALL I FEAR? THE LORD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY LIFE; OF WHOM SHALL I BE AFRAID?"

Here's to all the people-pleasers out there. It's time for some rehab. And I know the best Healer and Therapist in the business. To be continued...

BE OF GOOD COURAGE

Here's a picture of me and my friend Josie standing on a plexiglass ledge about 1700 feet in the air. We took a trip to Chicago and this is one of the views from the Sears tower. Everything in my body was telling me that there was something very wrong with walking out there, but I did it anyway. A sistah was definitely skerred at first, but once I was out there, it was such an awesome feeling.


Mark Twain once wrote:
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

And how true is that?! You don't have to be courageous if there is nothing to be afraid of. Sometimes I think that when fear shows up, it's a good indicator that whatever we're thinking about doing could be really important. Now, I'm not talking about things that we consider EXTREME like jumping off buildings or skydiving. I'm talking about living your life. Working toward changing your job instead of looking for excuses. Rising above what everyone else tells you is the "right thing to do" and doing God's will instead. Standing on the top of a mountain and proclaiming who you are instead of constantly going with the crowd. That's courage. And that's what we have to do every day.

There are so many times in my life, more than I can count. when I woke up afraid that this is all there is, afraid that I'm wasting time, afraid that everything inside me that says I need to keep going is wrong. And on those days, so many times, I've let fear get the best of me. I've let that fear stop me, the "what ifs", and the "what will people think" questions stop me right in my tracks. So, I pray for God to get rid of the fear. I pray that it just goes away. But, then, who needs courage? If there's no fear, it's all easy breezy.

Last time I checked, no one was inspired by those that always had it easy. The people that I look up to had to overcome obstacles: Jesus, Paul, Moses, Abraham, Joshua, to name a few. More recently, Mandela, Maya Angelou and Martin Luther King, Jr. You know how many times the Bible says to "be of good courage"? I have never seen a verse that says, give your life to the Lord, it will be all rainbows and kitty whiskers after that. (sorry to burst your bubble). But, the Lord gives us strength. It's like a life vest. Sure we still have to go through the rapids, but He gives us what we need to make it where we need to go.

Let's get this straight. It's hard to have faith. It is difficult to walk by faith and not by sight. It sho ain't easy to believe that God can somehow use you in His amazing plan. I struggle with that every single day. But, I know how far He brought me. I know that He loves all of His children. I know that He gives me a peace that surpasses all understanding. I know that His ways are waaay better than my ways. (I've tried doing things my way. Didn't quite work out). So, it's time to take that step out on the glass ledge. It's time to keep going even with fear standing in the way. So, uh, looka here fear, I want you to meet my friend Courage. He wants to have a Word witcha.