PEOPLE-PLEASERS ANONYMOUS (PPA)

Hello, my name is Ebony Price and I am a people-pleaser. (Hi, Ebony).

Okay, so after my last post on fear, I wanted to really get down to the bottom of what I've been so afraid of. Some people have a fear of success. I never felt that I was one of those people. I've always been so afraid of failing that I never really got the chance to worry about what might happen if I was successful.

So, I always figured I was afraid of failing. I mean, failing sucks, right? The big disappointment, figuring out where to go next, dwelling on why the failure happened in the first place. But, honestly, it was never the thought of failing that gave me that CRAZY FEAR. You know that fear that makes you feel like you have a giant weight sitting on your chest? Or that fear that makes your heart beat so fast that you feel like you can't breathe? I'm talking FEAR. The kind that keeps you up at night and greets you as soon as your eyes open in the morning. Gripping fear.

You know what I'm REALLY afraid of? It's not failing. Shoot, I can mess up the bridge to a song a million times when I'm alone on my keyboard in my living room. I'm not afraid of making a skirt and accidentally sewing the pockets shut. I'm not even afraid to play a new song on my guitar just a few minutes after finding the chords online. So, I'm not afraid of failing. Failing isn't the problem. It's people seeing me fail that makes my heart beat out of my chest.

It's like a giant light-bulb turned on this morning. I'm afraid of people not liking what I'm wearing. I'm afraid of people laughing at me and whispering under their breath about the bad note I hit on the bridge that ruined that song. I'm afraid of forgetting the next chord in the song and the dead silence that would follow. That's what makes my heart race. I'm afraid of other people.

When I think about it, it just seems silly. I mean, aren't we supposed to be individuals? And allowing people's opinions to run my life gives them waaaaay too much power over my life. Truly, what do they know about my life, where I've come from, and what God's purpose is in my life? Seriously. THEY DON'T KNOW ME! (yes, I say that in the sassiest black woman way I know how, with one finger in the air, a hand on my hip, and my neck was definitely rollin'). I realized today that I have allowed people's opinions to drive my decisions with my dreams and my career. Worst of all, these "people" have no idea how my life works into God's purpose. They have no idea why God put me on this earth. So, why am I letting their opinions guide my decisions? Oh uh uh, FEAR! Ya got to go! Now that I figured out what the problem is? Ya got to go! 'Cause last time I checked...

"THE LORD IS MY LIGHT AND MY SALVATION; WHOM SHALL I FEAR? THE LORD IS THE STRENGTH OF MY LIFE; OF WHOM SHALL I BE AFRAID?"

Here's to all the people-pleasers out there. It's time for some rehab. And I know the best Healer and Therapist in the business. To be continued...

BE OF GOOD COURAGE

Here's a picture of me and my friend Josie standing on a plexiglass ledge about 1700 feet in the air. We took a trip to Chicago and this is one of the views from the Sears tower. Everything in my body was telling me that there was something very wrong with walking out there, but I did it anyway. A sistah was definitely skerred at first, but once I was out there, it was such an awesome feeling.


Mark Twain once wrote:
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

And how true is that?! You don't have to be courageous if there is nothing to be afraid of. Sometimes I think that when fear shows up, it's a good indicator that whatever we're thinking about doing could be really important. Now, I'm not talking about things that we consider EXTREME like jumping off buildings or skydiving. I'm talking about living your life. Working toward changing your job instead of looking for excuses. Rising above what everyone else tells you is the "right thing to do" and doing God's will instead. Standing on the top of a mountain and proclaiming who you are instead of constantly going with the crowd. That's courage. And that's what we have to do every day.

There are so many times in my life, more than I can count. when I woke up afraid that this is all there is, afraid that I'm wasting time, afraid that everything inside me that says I need to keep going is wrong. And on those days, so many times, I've let fear get the best of me. I've let that fear stop me, the "what ifs", and the "what will people think" questions stop me right in my tracks. So, I pray for God to get rid of the fear. I pray that it just goes away. But, then, who needs courage? If there's no fear, it's all easy breezy.

Last time I checked, no one was inspired by those that always had it easy. The people that I look up to had to overcome obstacles: Jesus, Paul, Moses, Abraham, Joshua, to name a few. More recently, Mandela, Maya Angelou and Martin Luther King, Jr. You know how many times the Bible says to "be of good courage"? I have never seen a verse that says, give your life to the Lord, it will be all rainbows and kitty whiskers after that. (sorry to burst your bubble). But, the Lord gives us strength. It's like a life vest. Sure we still have to go through the rapids, but He gives us what we need to make it where we need to go.

Let's get this straight. It's hard to have faith. It is difficult to walk by faith and not by sight. It sho ain't easy to believe that God can somehow use you in His amazing plan. I struggle with that every single day. But, I know how far He brought me. I know that He loves all of His children. I know that He gives me a peace that surpasses all understanding. I know that His ways are waaay better than my ways. (I've tried doing things my way. Didn't quite work out). So, it's time to take that step out on the glass ledge. It's time to keep going even with fear standing in the way. So, uh, looka here fear, I want you to meet my friend Courage. He wants to have a Word witcha.